I was recently reminded that My Little Pony — that eternal franchise — has taken to adapting some even more eternal literary classics. Starting with Little Fillies in 2023, they have since done The Unicorn of Odd and, most recently, The Odyssey (no punny title this time).
When I mentioned this to my fellow Book Riot writers, Jamie Canavés suggested it might be fun to do a post with some tongue-in-cheek proposals for future installments of MLP’s “Classics Reimagined” series. With that, here are some extremely serious suggestions for IDW Publishing to consider. And yes, the deciding factor in whether a book made a list was if I was able to turn the title into an unforgivable pony pun.
Jane Mare
The role of Jane goes to Twilight Sparkle, who agrees to tutor three young ponies played by the Cutie Mark Crusaders. She becomes intrigued and frightened by strange noises coming from the house’s attic. When she finally goes up there, she discovers that the kids’ widowed father stashed all of his wife’s stuff up there rather than actually coping with her death, and the force of his undealt-with grief caused everything to magically come alive. This compels the family to actually process their loss and admit that hiding your problems in the attic doesn’t help anybody.
The Pony in the Iron Blinders
During a very intense game of blind man’s bluff, Princess Luna trips and falls into an underground cavern. Unable to get the blinders off, she remains lost for a long time. Celestia is so upset and worried that Discord is able to take advantage of the situation and start sowing chaos. It takes the bravery and ingenuity of the Six Musketeers, the finest hide-and-seek players in Equestria, to find Luna, break the blinders, and restore order to the land!
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Bridle and Prejudice
Athletes from across Equestria have converged on Ponyville to participate in a new kind of event: teams will be made up of competitors from different regions in order to promote harmony throughout the land. Pinkie Pie throws a party to welcome them all, but Rainbow Dash quickly runs afoul of a very rude athlete and vows to do everything possible to avoid being on the same team as her. After lots of shenanigans, it turns out the other pony was just tired from traveling and also flustered because of her insta-crush on Rainbow Dash, which teaches Rainbow Dash about judging by first impressions and also that she’s a lesbian.
The Picture of Dorian Dapple Gray
Rarity wishes that her favorite outfits would remain perfect forever instead of succumbing to natural wear and tear. When she has her portrait painted in magical paints, she realizes that she can do whatever she likes while wearing the outfit she wore in the painting, and the fake version will become torn and stained instead. She has herself painted in all of her favorite outfits (that is, all of her outfits). It goes great until — gasp! — she runs out of room in her closet because she no longer has to throw out old clothes.
Pair of Stables for the Sowers
Sweet Apple Acres becomes a target for sabotage after the Pear family gets jealous of the success of a new type of apple seed that grows the crunchiest, tastiest, juiciest apples ever. Applejack and family are forced to build a wall around their property. The sabotage morphs into a prank war that culminates in the breach of the wall and the near-destruction of Sweet Apple Acres. Upon seeing what they’ve done, the two groups reconcile and help rebuild each other’s property, including the stables from the title that I am only slightly sorry for.