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Sink Your Claws into this Monster Romance Swag


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I’m delighted by the amount of swag available to people who love reading romance. I examined the reclamation of the word smut as evidenced by romance merch, but I’m also interested in the rise of monster romance. We’ve gone into depth about the allure of monster love before; it’s nothing especially new. What is new is the vehemence with which people are proclaiming their monstrous predilections.

I personally see the rise of monster romance in line with some larger societal trends. More and more, people are marrying later or not at all. Meanwhile, toxic behavior continues to be called out and exposed. One cheeky way to process all of this is to say that people still crave romance but are rejecting humans, who just aren’t worth the trouble these days.

Queer monster romance is very much a thing with its own ethos, and plenty of the merch is devoid of gender implication. But there is a distinct vibe with some monster romance swag implying the pairing of human women with male monsters. Its message is: forget humans, I’m into monsters now. I demand more: horns, claws, maybe even tentacles. If you’re a monster romance lover, are you into the idea of letting the world know via a sticker on your water bottle or a T-shirt? If so, I’ve got some amazing recommendations for you that have elements of both queer monster romance and the human woman+male monsters pairing.

Monster Lover Pins

heart-shaped pins reading alien lover, monster lover, and cryptid loverheart-shaped pins reading alien lover, monster lover, and cryptid lover

These adorable pins advertise your monster love with the cutest details. That cow being beamed onto the UFO? I die. $4 a pop.

Heart-shaped pins with women facing toothy monster jawsHeart-shaped pins with women facing toothy monster jaws

These horrifying yet beautiful pins are perfect for anyone who knows it’s way scarier/better if you never see the whole monster. $13+ for the limited edition rainbow metallic version.

pin reading monsterfckerpin reading monsterfcker

A detailed pin that puts everything on the table. Let your freak flag fly for $13.

oval pins with women being held by various monstersoval pins with women being held by various monsters

Personally, I’m team Swamp Monster, but the beauty of these racy pins is the ability to express yourself specifically. $12 apiece, or catch ’em all for $70.

Monster Lover Stickers

weird peen queen stickerweird peen queen sticker

Certainly one of the features of monster romance is that monster junk can be as wildly imaginative as the rest of the creature, as this hilarious sticker denotes. $4.

sticker reading monster romance has taught me there's nothing i won't bangsticker reading monster romance has taught me there's nothing i won't bang

Monster romance is a journey of self-discovery. If you want to share your journey, this amazing sticker says it for you. $4.

Other Monster Lover Swag

monster romance tote bagmonster romance tote bag

When you have a stack of monster books to carry around, this roomy tote is where it’s at. You know it’s a good one because it’s got a bottom gusset. Yours for $25.

monster silhouettes shirtmonster silhouettes shirt

Whether you like werewolves, angels, centaurs, or snake people, this colorful T-shirt lets the world know you like ’em on the weird side. Available in various colors and sizes up to 5X for $32+.

monster romance checklist bookmarkmonster romance checklist bookmark

Bookmarks are a more private badge of honor than stickers and pins. But they’re still a great way to make yourself chuckle about your moderately depraved book collection. $3-$5, depending on if you spring for lamination and a tassel, which you should.

mothman patch that says horrified and hornymothman patch that says horrified and horny

Mothman is having a moment. Poet Elizabeth Bishop built her lore out of a newspaper misprint. Sweet Berries is C.M. Nascosta’s Mothman romance. This patch is appropriate for fans of either. Iron-on or sew-on for $7.

monster lover shirt with tentaclesmonster lover shirt with tentacles

Tentacles. Need I say more? If Ursula the Sea Witch was a formative character for your sexuality, this is the shirt for you. $23+ with multiple colors and sizing to 3X.

heart-shaped charms reading official monster loverheart-shaped charms reading official monster lover

The star-shaped clasps on these monster loving charms delight me. Pick your verbiage and attach one to your keychain for $12+.

monster romance scented candlemonster romance scented candle

What does monster romance smell like? According to this hand-poured candle, ozone, cedar, and plum. I’m into it! $6+ for a 4oz. candle.

bigfoot lawn sign spoofing in this house we believe lawn signsbigfoot lawn sign spoofing in this house we believe lawn signs

I want to be best friends with anyone who puts this incredible sign on their front lawn. $18+, depending on size.

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