Kim Kardashian Admits She Sometimes Cries Herself ‘To Sleep’ While

Kim Kardashian is getting vulnerable about motherhood.

In a preview for her interview for the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast obtained by People on Saturday, the 42-year-old reality star opened up about raising her and Kanye West‘s four kids – 9-year-old North, 7-year-old Saint, 5-year-old Chicago, and 4-year-old Psalm. When host Jay Shetty asked Kim what parenting has been like for her, she shared on the episode:

“Everyone says the days are long and the years are short, and that couldn’t be like a more true statement. So, like, when you’re in it, I mean, especially when they’re babies and you’re feeding … there’s madness going on. It’s like full madness. It’s the best chaos though.”

Related: Kim Kardashian Dating Again — But How’s It Going?

Although The Kardashians star may seem like she’s in control of her life and career, she admitted that she sometimes has “no idea what’s going on” in the mornings, explaining:

“It’s like I always have to do one of my daughter’s hair — and it has to be perfect and it has to be a certain way — and then this one needs me to put his shoes on and they all need you. … It’s like full crazy madness, cooking, running around. Like, it’s wild.”

Despite the chaos, Kim noted that “parenting is the thing that has taught me the most about myself.” However, it also hasn’t come without its challenges. She went as far as to confess she will sometimes “cry” herself “to sleep” because of how hard it can be:

“It has been the most challenging thing. There are nights I cry myself to sleep. Like, holy s**t, this f**king tornado in my house. Like, what just happened? You know, with all the moods and the personalities and sometimes they’re fighting, and you know, there’s no one there. Like, it’s [just] me to play good police officer and bad cop.”

While the SKIMS founder mentioned she’s trying to be “a little bit firmer” as a mom, she couldn’t help but express that “parenting is really f**king hard.” Kim added:

“That’s the only way I can describe it. It is the most rewarding job in the entire world. It is. There is nothing that can prepare you. … I don’t care how long you wait. I don’t care what you’re waiting for. You are never prepared. But, you will figure it out, and it will make you so proud of yourself that you figured it out and that you got through the day.”

Very true. Still, the television personality confessed there are times when the family is “going hour by hour to see if we’re gonna survive night by night,” saying:

“We are going hour by hour to see if we’re gonna survive night by night. If a tantrum comes in, oh my God, your life is completely upside down. But it teaches you so much more about yourself than I think anyone, any parent, could have ever anticipated. I mean, there’s nights when you don’t wash your hair for days as a mom and you have spit up all over you and you’re wearing the same pajamas, especially in COVID. It was insane, you know?”

But at the end of the day, Kim insisted she loves being a momma and wouldn’t change anything:

“There’s just nothing that can prepare you for this experience. It is the most challenging, rewarding job on this planet.”

It looks like everyone can expect a deep and candid conversation with Kimmy Kakes when this episode drops on Monday! You can see a sneak peek at the On Purpose with Jay Shetty interview (below):

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[Image via Kim Kardashian/Instagram, Angie Martinez/YouTube]

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